STORYTELLERS VS. HATE

Two and a half years ago, I moved back to San Diego to be closer to family after living in Colorado for 16 years. Although California is home, I wasn’t the same person I was when I left. I was still connected to a few friends from high school, but I yearned to plug in to the LGBTQ community. I had barely come out when I left all those years ago. I hadn’t established many friendships with queer people or formed my gay tribe. I had a long and winding conversation with an HRC representative about how different it is to make friends as an adult — people may look at you strange if you just go up to someone, tap them on the shoulder and ask, ”Do you want to be my friend?” That can work when you’re 5 years old, but not so much as a grown-up. The representative encouraged me to reach out to a local LGBTQ center. Why didn’t I think of that? After a quick Google search, I found the North County LBGTQ Resource Center.

In the summer of 2021, I volunteered to help with one of the center’s signature events, Pride by the Beach. The organization had recently received a grant and was looking to fill the role for a new position called Stop the Hate program coordinator. The Pride director appreciated the work I did for them and recommended me. After a successful interview, I got the job. This would be my first time working for a nonprofit. In a very general sense, I knew nonprofits were those grassroots, boots-on-the-ground organizations that move and shake and get things done, typically in the name of social justice. I was in for quite an eye-opening experience.

The Stop the Hate program was born out of the increase of violence toward Asian-Americans during the COVID-19 pandemic. From 2020 to 2021, bias events toward that community rose a staggering 177.5%, according to the 2021 California Department of Justice Annual Hate Crime Report. As a result, the California Department of Social Services (CDSS), in conjunction with the Commission on Asian and Pacific Islander American Affairs (CAPAIAA), created the Stop the Hate program to help victims and survivors of hate crimes/hate incidents. Over three years, the CDSS will distribute $110 million to 80 organizations to collectively work to curtail any further rise of hate.

How do you stop hate? Is it possible to halt a person’s feeling of intense hostility that’s derived from fear or anger? How do you change a feeling someone’s heart? How does a seed of hate even get planted? These are questions I asked myself as I began my role as the Stop the Hate program coordinator. To be candid, I had no answers, and I no idea where to begin to find them. Since it was a new role to the center, there was no predecessor I could turn to see how things had been done before. Honestly, it took a few weeks for me to figure out what I was doing. This job entailed advocacy and social justice work I’d never done before.

I learned a lot. Sadly, it’s not just the Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) community members who experience hate. Racial, ethnic and religious minorities, the disabled and our LGBTQ community all experience hate. The grant offers opportunities to work across these intersections to build awareness and solidarity. Part of my role as the Stop the Hate program coordinator was to support many of the programs the center has in place, whether direct, preventative or intervention services. Education and outreach were a big part of the job as well. Many folks in these vulnerable communities don’t have an awareness that anything can be done about bias against them, feel it’s useless to report, or simply don’t know how to identify what a hate crime is in the first place. To that end, I created two community forums to provide awareness.

The first event was a forum with local leaders sharing how hate shows up in their community and a discussion about what can be done as a collective to combat hate. The San Diego Union-Tribune wrote nice summary you can read. Feedback from that event stated the desire to hear from the perspective of young people. I then partnered with El Camino High School in Oceanside and held an educational forum for students to learn about bias and how it can escalate to more harmful behaviors. Through discussion and active learning, students could feel empowered to create positive change on their campus.

Nonprofits are incredibly benevolent and do tremendous life-saving work. Being the Stop the Hate program coordinator was challenging, heart-breaking and incredible all at the same time. I’ve never cried so much at a job in my life. I saw firsthand the prejudice, discrimination and hate that is hurled at our community. The cause of promoting tolerance and fighting hate is a large commitment to say the least. I know now, I’m not the one to be on the front lines. My advocacy will show up in other avenues of support.

The Stop the Hate program is a beginning. An acknowledgement that everyone deserves the opportunity to live free, safe and thrive. Our community needs all types of advocates. I encourage you to get involved whether it’s volunteering, attending a workshop or donating to the cause.